How often have you heard singles say I want to date but I just can’t be bothered! Whenever I hear this I know this person is in the dating burn-out phase. They’ve had their fill of bad dates and are in desperate need of solitude.
For those of you who’ve been dating a long time you know exactly what I mean. There comes a time in every single person’s dating life when you’re just plain tired of the chase.
Generally, this phase comes after a string of failed dating attempts and many, many questionable dates. The start of this burn-out phase can be seen in the forlorn eyes of a single person who’s just turned up to another date and realised this person is not “the one” and it wasn’t worth the effort.
The defeated emotions begin to surface as you begin to recall the endless hours spent talking to this person, texting and emailing this person, only to turn up and realise you’ve wasted your time.
It’s at this point you’re feeling discouraged and emotionally withdrawn but you still have an ounce of hope within you that the next one may just be “the one”. So you get back online without a moments rest and keep going.
Only now the endless mass of faces staring at you from your computer screen, which normally gives you hope, now just overwhelms you. You’re feeling disconnected from the faces on the screen and the hope you were feeling when you first logged on is fading fast.
But you keep up the good fight, you scroll and scroll and go through the motions in earnest so that you don’t find yourself wandering to that dark place inside you where despair lives.
It’s that place inside you that you don’t share with anyone; it’s the combination of totally giving up coupled with the intense desire to see this part of your life end forever! So you’re stuck in this alternate kind of universe wedged between burn out and a desire to keep going.
I personally think, if you’re feeling the burn out then be authentic and stop the cycle. If you can’t be bothered looking for a new person to date, then go find something else to do.
Time to take up a new hobby or go take a short course – that break could be just the refresher you need. Come back to it when you’re feeling rejuvenated and maybe have a better strategy in mind.
Dating burn out is real and I am here to tell you that it’s ok to leave it for a while. Don’t be afraid of missing out on “the one” while you take a sabbatical because the right person will be waiting when you get back, I assure you.
